We desperately don’t want to experience shame, and we’re not willing to talk about it. Yet the only way to resolve shame is to talk about it. – Brené Brown
So you’ve put on a little extra “pandemic weight”? The good news is: you’re not alone! Americans gained an average of 1.5 pounds per month during the first five months of the global shutdown. Now, people are nervous about getting together in groups again because of the other “COVID-19”—the 19 extra pounds they’ve gained during quarantine. As you begin curating your ultimate pandemic weight loss plan, here are a few tips to set you up for success.
Step 1: Embrace Your “Pandemic Body”
It’s important to remember that the habits we developed leading to our pandemic weight didn’t happen overnight. It took roughly a year and a half, as many of us transitioned to working exclusively from home, suspended our gym memberships, and stayed in every night for the common good. It was inevitable that this more sedentary lifestyle would lead to extra pounds.
Beyond the extra pounds, it’s time to shed the extra weight you’re putting on yourself—the weight of shame. U.S. culture uses a lot of shaming and blaming when it comes to weight gain. Not only do shame and blame actually set you back in terms of accomplishing a goal, it turns out that the foundational belief of these tactics—that we can change our behavior purely through willpower—is a lie.
Step 2: Change Your Environment
We live in a culture that emphasizes personal responsibility for our behavior and actions. While personal responsibility is important for many things in life, misapplying it to weight gain and weight loss oversimplifies what it takes to truly change a habit. Like most things, the answer isn’t black or white. We have to look at the gray area, and the fact is:
It’s easier to change your environment than it is to change your mind.
Humans really are creatures of habit. Some estimates indicate that as much as 40% of our daily behavior is habitual. This is what allows you to plan your day (conscious mind) while you’re driving to work (unconscious mind). To think that we can control ourselves 100% of the time—especially when it comes to something as ubiquitous as food—is to set ourselves up for failure. It becomes a vicious cycle where:
I’m too tired to exercise leads to → Watching TV → Being even more out of shape → Exercising becomes more difficult → Feelings of worthlessness and depression → Repeat
In 2021, there’s simply no room for that sort of cycle!
So how do we set ourselves up for success? Science says it’s about context. Our behaviors change when our context changes. People who are more successful at changing their habits are putting themselves into environments that support their desired behavior. This could look like putting the fruit on the kitchen counter and shoving the candy into the back corner of the pantry. It might mean changing up your exercise routine so you run with a buddy twice a week just to have an accountability partner.
We can’t be hypervigilant and motivate ourselves every moment. We have to also create scenarios that lead to success. The habits you created last year were formed over an 18-month period. While it’s going to take a little effort to undo those habits, it’s nothing to be ashamed of!
Step 3: Recognize Social Stressors
In my post-quarantine conversations with people, I noticed something else. It’s not just the weight that’s keeping people home; it’s re-learning how to be in regular relationship again. I haven’t seen you in a while; do I remember your name? Our bodies look different; what else has changed? Do you and I still connect in the same way?
As you give yourself grace for your pandemic body, also give yourself a little grace as you learn to navigate regular social engagement again. Maybe you find yourself tiring faster at the end of the night. Maybe you only stay one hour at the in-person happy hour where before the pandemic, you could have stayed three. It is all good! Do yourself a favor and meet yourself where you’re at!
There’s a lot of people hiding at home, feeling bad about themselves. Don’t just sit home with the shame and guilt. We’re wired for relationship. Regardless of how COVID went for us, getting back together is so profound for our humanity. Just like with the rest of the pandemic, we’re all in this together! Remember that your community loves you, not your size.
Are you ready to create a satisfying relationship with food and your body? Let’s chat!
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